peace in the Middle East
In college I thought my role in this world would be
to become an American Apologist
to let the world know, we are not all filled with hate
we don't know how to stop our war machines
our weapons manufacturing, or occupation of occupying
I thought there wasn't anything more worthwhile
than to bring peace to the middle east
shedding light on the war from the west
that we impress on the rest of the middle eastern brow and chest
but when I share truths of coup d'etat, the history of violence
that freezes our hearts with no ability to thaw
I get turned into an image of a radical
unhinged
Now I want to fight the suffering of my homeland
by abolishing prisons, prisons in our minds
prisons that are most numbered here at home
the prisons of our beliefs
we can leave them alone
we can be, if we try
the land of the free and brave
we can break our prisons today
-- Bijan (23-12-30)
write
A dear friend of mine asked me in the last few months to write some of my story as a first generation Persian American. As the country I was born in has become increasingly anti immigrant and as it keeps me up at night I realized it is time to write.
neither here, nor there
Being born in a blue dot city in the center of Texas surrounded by an ocean of red conservative ideology I was shielded by the progressiveness of the city I lived in while experiencing pockets of unwelcoming. Unwelcoming was felt most sharply when I went to school in west Texas, San Angelo, through the occasional bigoted racist passerby but ultimately I had a decently integrated experience. One example of such bigotry was when working at a cinema popcorn register stand at the Gateway theatre in central Austin when a young man who had come back from Iraq very casually said in front of his army friends "I just got back from the middle east shooting sand n**gers and towel heads, I will take a large popcorn". He was going to see the film 300 to watch more violence.
In middle school I watched the twin towers be hit by planes in my school band hall room on the televisions as confused as everyone.
The high school I attended was at the time one of the "best" in the country in regards to academic outcomes.
I wasn't a great student in my great school but rather a band geek who was a pothead.
In college the Occupy Wall Street movement happened and it connected me to others who felt an injustice in plain site was happening.
What does America have to apologize for?
The best single example I can share is from the author and academic Stephen Kinzer in his book
"Overthrow: America's Century of Regime Change from Hawaii to Iraq
He points out economic imperialism overthrows driven by American business interests, such as in Hawaii (1893) and Nicaragua (1910).
Cold War interventions motivated by anti-communism and strategic interests, including Iran (1953), Guatemala (1954), and Chile (1973).
Mr. Kinzer goes further into depth in his book "All the Shah's Men: An American Coup and the Roots of Middle East Terror" about the CIA initiated coup d'état where democratically elected Mohammad Mossadegh was overthrown which led to the rise of Islamic Radicalism years later. Mossadegh nationalized the Anglo-Iranian Oil Company to become the National Iranian Oil Company and after his overthrow the company was renamed to The British Petroleum Company.
Finally Post-Cold War and War on Terror as seen in Iraq (2003). In Iraq we invaded and destroyed a country whose name was mispronounced the entire time. How often is Iraq spoken about in the headlines these days?
These overthrows are the shadows of American history which sadly most American's know nothing about.
neither black, nor white
My father at a young age told me to use Caucasian for ethnicity questions on tests and forms in school. He said that the Iranians were the original Caucasions (the Caucus mountains were actually in Iran) and I know he wanted me to fit in and not be a target; a central message I was raised with similar to many Iranians. During the Iranian Hostage Crisis many Iranians began referring to themselves as Persians for more than simply pride of their heritage but for the additional safety from bigots.
Recently while on a trip to Thailand and running through the streets of Bangkok one morning a Thai man yelled out at me "black n***ger", he likely had never seen a big haired Iranian American man of large stature like myself. I hadn't ever considered myself black despite loving black culture and hip hop. I am neither black nor white, neither Iranian nor American. I am a mix between worlds. When I have traveled to Iran it was very evident to me that I was considered a tourist and potentially a spy. Here in America today just like for most immigrants we are being told by economic and political leaders that this America is only for a certain color and background.
rap music
I am a freestyle rapper, I haven't produced and shared much in the form of recordings; partially out of fear, false perfectionism and not having created the music for my voice.
Two of America's biggest name rappers had "beef" with each other in 2024 releasing diss tracks towards each other, speaking about each other's personal issues.
In Iran, rappers are imprisoned for their political speach and some are executed.
I think this illustrates the narcissim of American culture and the immaturity of our culture and voice, we make things personal as we cannot see the collective; while abroad the oppression in Iran and many other countries have people fighting for their life.
In America I can say what I feel and think and don't have to worry about being arrested and imprisoned for my words, albeit there are examples otherwise if you look at our political prisoners in America.
It is a privlege to speak up in America, one my family overseas do not have the luxury to participate in.
This blog post is a step towards me sharing my voice and experience to better participate in civil dialogue.
solutions
I subscribe to the solutions of Dr. King and those from his lineage. "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that". My parents speak a language which doesn't have an online curriculum for learning called Iranian Azeri at home. This is one of many reasons I never became fluent in Persian (the language of Iran).
I am now working each day to improve my fluency in Persian (there are wonderful resources, thank you Chai and Conversation and friends and family) and once I feel comfortable with my ability to speak effortlessly in Persian I plan to turn my attention to Iranian Azeri and learn the language as well as provide resources to help others speak who like me desire to learn fully.
I cannot change the politics of America or Iran, but I can be a voice of reason and passion through honesty, compassion and openness.
I used to go by the monikor "Bijan the Love poet" as I felt that was what the world was asking of me, to Love more fully, in the spirit of all the great Persian Love poets.
Adopting the name Bijan Yoga is more fitting to me as I wish to share in my yoga practices (asanas (movement), pranayama (breath) and meditation) but also in philosophy and poetry.
We live in a time where everything has become fast, naracsisstic and addictive.
Doing things slowly, with humility and in nourishing ways that heal is more important than ever.
Immigrants built this country and will continue to build this place.
Celebrating their voices and cultures as unqiue colorful contributions to the rich tapestry of American fabric is where we should place our attention on the solutions.
When we embrace our distinct differences in culture we can see the similiarties in our humanity, of that which we all wish for in a good life.
protest
This upcoming president's day lets meet at the Texas State Capitol to protest the state of our political system which has been hijacked by billionaires and a tyrant false king who are running havoc of our society in more ways than we can articulate properly.
I don't expect protest to be much of an effective tool for change, but at the very least it can be a catharsis to the malaise we are all feeling from the deluge of unconstitutional actions which we are inundated with daily.
At the very most it can assure us that we are not alone, that we can unite, that we can connect and form solutions by working together as we all navigate these dark and difficult circumstances we all find ourselves in.
